Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

Monday, August 6, 2012

Rib is a Dirty Word

Apparently the word translated as "rib" in Genesis 2 when God makes woman from a piece of man could be a euphemism for a bone that had existed in his penis.  While most male animals have a baculum it is oddly absent from humans.  Discover Magazine's Discoblog takes this position.
Our opinion is that Adam did not lose a rib in the creation of Eve. Any ancient Israelite (or for that matter, any American child) would be expected to know that there is an equal (and even) number of ribs in both men and women. Moreover, ribs lack any intrinsic generative capacity. We think it is far more probable that it was Adam’s baculum that was removed in order to make Eve. That would explain why human males, of all the primates and most other mammals, did not have one. The Hebrew noun translated as “rib,” tzela (tzade, lamed, ayin), can indeed mean a costal rib. It can also mean the rib of a hill (2 Samuel 16:13), the side chambers (enclosing the temple like ribs, as in 1 Kings 6:5,6), or the supporting columns of trees, like cedars or firs, or the planks in buildings and doors (1 Kings 6:15,16). So the word could be used to indicate a structural support beam. Interestingly, Biblical Hebrew, unlike later rabbinic Hebrew, had no technical term for the penis and referred to it through many circumlocutions.
While almost any piece of biblical text in Hebrew leaves room for many good interpretations this particular one is motivated by an assumption that the passage in Genesis 2 seeks to offer a mythical explanation for a contemporary element of human anatomy.  Their rationalization that Hebrews would have known that men and women have an equal number of ribs (while many modern Christians do not and perpetuate the modern myth that men have less ribs than women based on this passage; did you ever hear that in your Sunday school?) shows their expectations for the intentions of this passage.  One would assume a reader ought to read the passage for itself to see what it actually explains before imposing an objective onto it.  If ancient Hebrews knew enough about biology to know that men and women had an equal number of ribs then they surely knew that when a father was missing a part of his anatomy his children were still born with it.  If one is determined to draw a mythical explanation of modern anatomy from this passage then a baculum explanation has just as many problems in this respect as a rib.

It is possible that the Hebrew word tzela is a euphemism for a penis bone but I fail to see how that explanation is somehow more likely than a rib.  An interpretation seeing an explanation of modern anatomy is unnecessary when either body shows that the author of Genesis 2 is asserting that women were made from a part of man making them suitable partners and setting the standard that man and women are supposed to be together.  Adding the explanation of the missing baculum in humans unnecessarily clutters the passage and is risky because of the memetic value of the fact.  People are apt to find almost any phallic interpretation of a Biblical passage interesting and memorable regardless of any evidence for that interpretation.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

PUA Theology

This is a post where I will discuss Christian theology (particularly conservative evangelical theology) through the lens of the pick up artist movement.  If you need help with the terms you can go here.

God is the ultimate alpha.  Every human being on earth would want this guy (even the dudes).  He knows how to DHV by providing miracles that up his status.  He knows how to 101 using both his wrath and his mercy.  Either way, it helps us consider his commands (we love his mercy and fear his wrath).

Human beings throw out AIs to God when they display a certain emptiness in their lives without him.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Who I Write Like

There's an interesting website that analyzes your writing and tells you which famous figure of literature you write like. I wonder how consistent my writing style is. Part of the reason I started blogging was to improve my writing so there may be big changes between different posts. I'll submit all my long posts and see what they come up as.

The last post about molinism:

I write like
George Orwell

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!



The posts "Critic or Theologian," "Rivalry Among Apostles," "Is Theology Important?" and "What Guides Our Theology?":

I write like
Dan Brown

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!



Apparently I write like Dan Brown. I have never read a Dan Brown book so I can't be subconsciously copying him. I wonder who else is in this website's database.

UPDATE: I submitted this post.

I write like
Isaac Asimov

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

"Thou shalt commit adultery"

The wikipedia entry for Bible errata is a fun read. It is intriguing how just omitting a "not" in a particular passage can completely change its meaning.

Imagine purchasing a Bible hot off the press and finding the following inside:

"Know ye not that the unrighteous shall inherit the kingdom of God?"
(1 Corinthians 6:9)

"Go and sin on more"
(John 8:11)

"Thou shalt commit adultery"
(Exodus 20:14)

"For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted God, adorned themselves, being in subjection to their owl husbands."
(1 Peter 3:5)

Things are confusing enough arguing over the original texts and Greek meanings!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Clean Hands, Clean Conscience

Perhaps Pilate's behavior in Matthew 27:24 was more therapeutic than symbolic.

physical cleansing seems to more generally remove past concerns, resulting in a metaphorical “clean slate” effect.

The Lady Macbeth syndrome is a myth. You can wash the spot out!